Blitzing Off

I rather get the feeling that that post was written after and because of the rather heated argument that Yick Loong and I had sometime around 10 PM two days ago.

My viewpoint of the matter regarding the argument still stands. Nothing's changed. I came to love chess back in Secondary Two, under, I believe, the influence of Mun Kiat. Having "Chess King" in a class full of chess fanatics tends to rub off on you. I still remember how our class loved playing chess during recess times back in Secondary One and Two.

I loved chess all throughout my Secondary School days. Yes, I remember also the times when we stayed back till seven plus on Thursday just to play chess. We got chased out of the room several times, and on some occasions even stayed back in the canteen to play on after we got chased out.

I still love chess now. That's one thing that won't change, for quite some time at least. I'll love chess throughout my JC years, and probably carry over well into my NS life.

I like the people in CHSCC. Really, I do. Mun Kiat has been my friend and classmate for four years, schoolmate for five. We talk about all sorts of nonsensical things, from DotA to chess to girls to anything under the sun.

I remember all the times when Yi Da and I used to quarrel back in Secondary One. We got into a wrestling match between our right arms once, although he probably doesn't recall. He was the first to notice my sudden quiet self a few months back, and that's something everyone else failed to notice. Kudos to you.

Yong Hua is an amiable person. He and I can probably get along very well. He likes singing too, something that only he and I shares in this community. We share the same taste in songs, and I like playing chess with him.

Yick Loong has probably been the best senior I've ever had. He's the only one I still keep in contact with, to tell the truth. I can't count the number of times he's offered his listening ear to me, something which others have offered rarely.

I like the people. But I hate the club.

I've told this to Yick Loong. I see no reason why I should hide it from all of you.

I hate CHSCC. Whenever everyone gets together, I feel so... left out. The five of you - Yi Da, Zhuang Yong, Mun Kiat, Yong Hua and Yick Loong - when all of you get together, I stand no place in that small circle. Bonds so strong, I can't seperate them wide enough to squeeze in.

Yes, skill is no measure of friendship. But think back on how your friendship came about in the first place. Was it not because of your talents in the game? As I recall the friendship began sprouting in Secondary Two. I was no good player at the time, and thus I was left out of it, so to speak. Whenever chess club trainings were in session, the five - or most of the time four, for Zhuang Yong had NCC trainings - of you were almost always seen together. I envied that, really.

I trained hard, in hopes that I would get to a standard high enough to be accepted into your circle. But the time it took for me to develop was ample opportunity for you all to build a friendship. One that didn't have me in it.

True, to Yick Loong and the rest of you, Peng Fei and company are friends and perhaps more. But to him, I'm just another player in the field, one that doesn't really deserve much attention to. To gain his trust and friendship I find you need skill first. Don't argue with me about that point, Yick Loong, because you have skill and I don't. You don't know what it's like to be in my shoes.

In competitions, you rarely see me hanging around you people, or rather only at the outskirts, or unless you're alone with me. Because being with you all as a group makes me feel excluded. I can't follow with half of what you're saying, and I have the sense to keep my mouth shut about things I don't know about.

Which is why I like the people, but I hate the club.

Y'all are the best Secondary school friends I've had. I've lost contact with half my classmates, and the other half I talk to approximately once per half year. All of you can make me laugh and smile and joke, which is something I find I can't do from the heart these days.

Yick Loong, I'm sorry for losing my temper with you a couple of days back. It isn't your fault, really. But sometimes I just can't keep it all in well enough, and well the attitude you gave me wasn't exactly doing much to help keep my temper cool. Sorry ya. I know you're heading off to NS soon. I won't be seeing you anymore before that, not being able to go for the farewell party tomorrow and all that. So I apologize first, for losing my temper. I still don't see things the way you want me to see them and you don't see mine, but let's just leave it at that.

Good luck for your NS years, and take care ya.


~Blitzed off by Wakka02~