:)

I kinda feel that I personally should stop drawing against any of you guys.
Cos I'm not respecting myself by not letting myself get what my skills deserve.

Ever since I lost that SP blitz match. I lost that significance that I was fighting for.
Winning or not is not important to me already. I can pump you all up if you like.

But I must respect myself. I don wanna regret losing like that anymore.
Even if I'm confirmed champ, I'll still do my best in the game.

Please do understand.

That SP match meant alot to me. Though on paper it wasn't important, it was really important and it's an impact that totally changes my life. It isn't anyone's fault but myself to lose that game.

When I drew round 5, I have to admit it was reluctant because I don't want to lose out in opp pts. I was questioning myself, that if yida had higher opp pts than me, would he draw out his last match and fall behind if I had won my last match and let me be champ.

I don't really wanna know the answer. I don't have anything or anyone to fight for in chess already. The significance is gone and I've not come to terms with it. I really got nothing much left. Yida and Yonghua are in NJ. My PAE class is split up. TYL is busy.

Someone told me in the morning today.

"Are they your friends if they ask you to draw and you slowly rot away half point here and there? You might think for them and agree to draw, but are they thinking for you? People are selfish, you are plain stupid."